Menatap bumbung tinggi…
Berbaring di atas empat segi konkrit…
Katil namanya..
Beribu perasaan bermain dalam hati..


Tiba-tiba..
Keluar benci dari telingaku….
Keluar marah dari lubang hidungku….
Keluar sedih dari mulutku…
Keluar keliru dari pusatku….
Keluar amarah dari celahan biji mataku….


AH!!!!!!!! Aku jerit….. SAKIT!!!!!! YA ALLAH!!!!



Lajunya…
Datang benci mematuk-matuk mataku…
Bertaburan biji mataku…
Hilang penglihatanku…


Datang marah membelit-belit tanganku….
Mematahkan jari-jariku….
Hilang sentuhanku….


Datang keliru menggigit-gigit lidahku…
Melapah medium percakapanku…
Hilang rasaku…

Datang sedih mengorak-ngorek lubang hidungku…
Najis, bulu…semuanya terkeluar…
Hilang bauku…


Datang amarah mencabut-cabut telingaku…
Musnah gegendang telingaku….
Hilang pendengaranku….


AHHHH!!!!! ALLLAHHH!!!!!!


.........

Aku tiada apa lagi….

Datang bahagia mengambil rohku…
Aku terbang…
Jasadku terbiar….
Busuk…..Reput….


Aku berdosa….





Bilik
2.30AM
24 November 2011



NOTHING




Dulu…
Aku bodoh..
Aku lupa…
Aku susut…
Aku diam…
Bukan siapa-siapa…

Dulu..
Engkau tanganku
Engkau kakiku
Engkau otakku
Bukan lagi kini….

Sekarang …
Aku masih aku
Engkau masih engkau
Tiada apa-apa..

Nothing ….



Batu Pahat
9.00 PM
21 November 2011





Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his future doesn't seemed too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualise any future for the both of them, so let's go their own ways there and then... heartbroken, the guy agreed.

When he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself. Finally with all these hardwork and with the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company...
"You never fail until you stop trying." he always told himself. "I must make it in life!"

One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realise those were his ex-girlfriend's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same anymore, he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He had made it in life!

Before the guy can realise, the couple was walking towards a cemetary,and he got out of his car and followed them...and he saw his ex-girlfriend, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone... and he saw his precious papercranes in a bottle placed beside her tomb. Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

She had wanted her parents to put his papercranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again he can take some of those back with him. The guy just wept ...the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them but knowing you can't have them and will never see them again.
The End."

A tragic story that perhaps happens only in the movies. At the end of the day, money is money is money but love is divine. In our quest for our material wealth, take time to make time for our loved ones. There will be a time when we have only memories to cling to.
Take this weekend to show our "love" to all that are close to us.







A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.
What do you think were the four words?

The husband just said "I Love You Darling"
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to keep the bottle away, this will not have happened. No
point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn't forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Don't multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to forgiveness.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.




Prison


Cast my thoughts across the land
Watch me ebb slowly from the sand
Wring me dry, hang me up
Isn't my love big enough?


Sleep with tears upon your cheeks
Brush me from the torrid weeks
That I left you, all alone
Bar me from your empty home


Fling a fishing net off-shore
Pull me in, shut the door
Satisfy your salty hands
Wrap me up in iron bands


Paint pictures of a scarlet love
Watch the world from high above
Spinning in your holy spire
Leave me in my dirty mire


Leonard Cohen had it right:
Love is a grey fading light
Even with all my hateful might
I'll never escape your bright night





Everywhere I look I see the needs of so many. I see people of all ages, races and religions struggling to survive. It truly breaks this simple heart of mine…I mean I have tried, I really have. I have often paid a stranger bill at dinner; I have paid for their groceries and all this with them unaware of how it came to pass. I have given of myself until I am give out.

Yet still their number increase in a world that becomes more self absorbed every day. I see an old man not have enough to buy a loaf of bread. I slip the difference to the cashier and a family stays warm and an old man eats another day.

I don’t know what has come of me, I now find myself buying when I cannot buy for myself. I buy cat food and travel to where the strays hang out and feed them. I weep inwardly when I see and animal crushed by a car and I find my heart reaching out to the needs of many. I can’t go on like this for I have given until I have given out.

I have missed a lot of work this year due to the economy being like the economy is. My pockets are now empty where once bills filled their lining. I see a need, I reach in to deliver and realize that there is nothing left to give. My heart breaks once again. How can I help others I ask, when I can’t even help myself? Why is there so much need? Why do so many people struggle to survive? Why does it hurt this way?

I now that the Christmas season has come and gone and I know that many to good cause did give…but there remains fifty-one weeks and the spirit of giving takes a back seat until another year. I don’t know what else to do, I give not expecting anything, I give because there is a human need, I give because I love.

When I told Leah my wife that things had to change and that I was going to resolve to harden my heart to all things great or small, she replied with a simple “don’t” …”you can’t”….I guess she is right, but I still know not the answer as the need continues to knock on my hearts door.

God Bless us all the coming year…God Bless those in need.



Love is not like the movies
There's no special way love forms
Sometimes, it just happens
Without someone taking our breath away

We live life hoping for a happily ever after
Because Cinderella and Prince Charming did
But we start to learn that life's full of challenges
We must endure life and grow

Love is not like the movies
There's no beginning, middle and end
There's just that tingly feeling
The way you feel when something is right

There's no such thing as happily ever after
If you want to be happy you must work on it
Love will only continue to grow
If you're willing to do anything for that special person

Love is not like the movies
We can't just wait for someone to rescue us
We need to do things for ourselves sometimes
And rescue the people we love too

We don't always get the chance of a happy ending
But we do make the decisions that lead to it
We must build strength, hope and patience
In order to conquer our future battles

Love is not like the movies
Maybe our love can be better
If we are willing to fight for it
We can make the most out of life.